Relationship advise by Arnelle Cruz
Almost every girl dreams to one day become a princess bride and almost every boy knows that one day he must take on the role to provide for the family that he will create. The truth about relationship and marriage has never been told but kept hidden in a dark place until you become an adult and decide that your fantasy about relationship and marriage is about to come true when you find that one you love, then all of a sudden relationship and marriage isn’t what you dreamt it would be.
Who is to blame for this?
Well, what should I say, tradition, religion, media, parents, friends, and the list can go on and on. Let us first start with tradition.
In many traditions around the world, the role of a man and woman is different and most times the woman is left with way more work to do than just taking care of her kids. A man will get yelled at by family and friends if he were caught helping his wife with work around the house such as cooking, cleaning, and even taking care of his own kids. They will start to bully him by saying he wears the skirt in his home and his wife wears the pants. If you asked me, I would say family and friends need to stay out of their loved one's marriages and allow the two people to discover one another and learn how to work together.
Religion also plays a big part in why relationships and marriages are not lasting. When you talk about religion, right away people's minds go to the bible and other books that people used to communicate with God. If you or anyone else has ever been taught that way, well you have been wrong for many years. Religion is when people gather together to have a spiritual relationship with God and they share the same spiritual beliefs and ideas. In Religion, people create their own rules and regulations in the way they feel fit to worship and communicate with their God. This is having a major impact on marriages and relationships and in most Religions, the woman is taught to be treated as a slave instead of a friend and companion. In some Religions, a woman is even asked to allow her to share her husband with multiple females, leaving her with emotional breakdown and insecurity issues. With all these rules and restrictions, instead of a man and woman being together for how they feel about one another, marriages now carry the feeling of a business relationship where everyone is on the edge. Marriage is vital to God because he officiated the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, meaning he is also in support of your marriage. Now rules and restrictions in religion make marriage feel more like a prison and have taken the passion away from marriage, making marriage look more like a place of judgment. To have a lasting marriage do not follow rules and restrictions of your religion but follow directions from the Bible as God intended the way a man and woman should live.
Media and its power on relationships and the household. Media has destroyed millions of relationships instead of helping any. You would think that people would understand that what they see on the media is not a reality of life, but confusingly, people just don’t get it and they just won’t get it.
Because what the eyes see is what the heart wants and the more we look at media to structure our thinking when it comes to relationships, the more confused we will be, leaving us with an empty desire of a not so real world. At first, we depended on television to define relationship structure for us but now we have social media, a place where everyone needs to have the perfect family photos, a place where everyone thinks everyone is doing ok when they are not doing okay, a place where everyone are friends but yet the majority do not connect and communicate with one another. A place where everyone believes to have an opinion on other people's lives and relationships.
Media is a fantasy of other people's views on how they want their relationship to look and feel, so instead of looking to the media for relationship structure, create your own fantasy about the kind of relationship you would like to have and enjoy it while it lasts. Remember to return to the real world and not get lost in your fantasy believing that your relationship will look that way all the time. The purpose of creating fantasy in a relationship is to give your relationship that beautiful refreshing vacation after going through a lot of life reality but like every vacation, it comes to an end and you have to return home.
Let’s talk about parents and how they have not been of much help when it comes to relationships and marriage. Most parents for centuries have been told never to argue in front of their kids, to always settle matters in the bedroom and let the kids see them as a happy couple all the time. Well, this is where parents go wrong because children learn from their parents and if your kids never see you argue and fix the issue, how will they learn to fix their own issues when they have now become adults? Now I am not saying it is a good practice for parents to argue in front of their kids but having disagreement is a normal part of life and kids need to be able to witness that and also see how parents resolve their disagreement. This will help them in the future to solve their own disagreements. They may not solve it exactly like you did but they may learn a bit from your experience and incorporate that in their own life decisions. We all have imperfections to work on so try not showing your kids that you are those perfect parents because you will set them up for disappointment.
Friends, as innocent as they look and even though the majority of the time people feel friends do not influence their judgments but unfortunately they do. The wrong friends will definitely get you to lose your marriage. The right friend will respect you spending time with your partner, whereas the wrong friend will tell you that your partner is too clingy. The right friend will be proud of you for being faithful and loyal to your relationship or marriage, whereas the wrong friend will tell you not to put all your eggs into one basket. I can keep on going with the never ending list of good friendships and bad friendships but this will just make the article boring. The bottom line is, we all need friends in our lives to cause no man is an island but choosing the right kind of friendship will help strengthen your marriage and the wrong kind of friends will destroy your marriage. Friendship is important but it is not a necessity.
If you can’t find the right kind of friend outside the boundaries of family, well no need to look beyond what you already have at home. Your marriage should be the best friendship you can ever build. For a successful relationship or marriage, spend more time with your partner than you spend with friends.
We’re not done yet, come let me help you fix this mess (When Marriage Is At A Breaking Point).
When Marriage Is At A Breaking Point
How Can You Fix It?
There are things both people can do to keep their marriage from breaking and stay alive. It is not always easy when marriages have reached the breaking point but it is indeed possible to save the marriage from getting a divorce. The most important question is: Do you still love your partner and want to make your marriage work? The first step in moving forward is to understand the importance of forgiving. Now, most people will find forgiving their partner such a difficult task because of pride and what their friends and family would say. Pride will limit you from moving forward with the one you love.
Things You Can Do To Get Him Back:
Apologize when you are wrong and tell him how much his forgiveness means to you.
Play a listed game with him on things he likes about you and things he doesn't like about you, then take the list and work on fixing things he doesn't like about you.
Most of the time women believe that men should be the ones buying flowers, so how about you buy flowers for him and make a change. To sweeten it up, you can buy him a card telling him how much he means to you.
Throw them a game night party with their friends and make some delicious wings, ribs and make sure to have beer on ice. If you don’t want to leave the house to him and his friends, you can wear a cheerleader outfit and be the cheerleader of his team.
Make him lunch for work and in his lunch bag, leave him a note telling him you are looking forward to a movie night and extra time alone.
Book a hotel for the both of you for a change of romantic environment, also add some adult toys and adult games for a fun night away from home.
Light some candles, play romantic music and talk about when you first met one another and all your fun times together and some things you survived together.
Most importantly, never stop telling him how much you love him and how much he means to you.
There are lots that we can talk about but let's start with this list for now and see how it works for you and your marriage.
Things He Can Do To Get Her Back:
Apologize when you are wrong and tell her how much her forgiveness means to you.
Play a listed game with her on things she likes about you and things she doesn't like about you, then take the list and work on fixing things she doesn't like about you.
Buy her a heart necklace and book a dinner date for two and give her the gift. Upon opening her gift, tell her the heart necklace symbolizes your heart that belongs to her and she gets to keep it with her everywhere she goes.
Book a full day spa retreat for two and let her know that you are interested in her beauty and wellbeing and that you would like to experience it with her.
Get her a novel with a story similar to your love life, cookies, chocolate, a bottle of her favorite wine and a glass.
Take a beach vacation, buy her sexy swimwear and tell her how beautiful and attractive she is to you.
Cuddle with her on the couch and whisper to her all the things that make you want her more. Also promise to always be faithful, loyal, committed, and make sure to keep your promise.
Most importantly, never stop telling her how much you love her and how much she means to you.
Facebook: Arnelle M. Cruz
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