We are bringing you a story of empowerment, triumph, and resilience. Trauma survivor, Alexandria Thibodeaux is now trauma-informed because she is a trauma survivor of NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) abuse and has healed from this trauma through severing trauma bonds, psychotherapy, EMDR, and a dedication to continued healing, learning, and studying the journey of trauma recovery and NPD abuse and recovery.
She is a survivor of narcissistic abuse by her dad, who has NPD, and her mom, who is a converted narcissist. With that, she grew up in an abusive and toxic home, where her older sister was also an abuser. The abuse was so bad that my biological, Black parents and biological, Black sister raised her to believe that she/they and our whole family are white but in fact, we are Black and always have been. They raised her to demonize Black people and Black culture and ultimately raised her to be racist against Black people. They raised her to hate herself.
She didn’t learn she had Black ancestry until she was 26 and it wasn’t confirmed for her by extended family members until she was 29. Once she learned of this abundantly beautiful truth about herself, she rebirthed her identity and started a cultural renaissance as a loud, proud, Black woman who now advocates for herself and other Black women.
Today the boundary badass is an Interpersonal Communication and Relationship Strategist. Through her company, Boundary Badass Consulting LLC, she helps people create and maintain healthy relationships in their personal and professional lives.
Alexandria has always been fascinated by human behavior, so attaining her degree in Psychology was natural for her to transition to. Alexandria chose to become an entrepreneur and specifically a coach who no longer wanted to work a conventional job — it robbed her of her peace, sanity, health & well-being. As an HSP (highly sensitive person), working in traditional settings with traditional roles highly diminishes her quality of life, and becoming an entrepreneur provided her the full autonomy and freedom needed to thrive and prosper in her full humanity.
Alexandria Thibodeaux is a passionate individual who cares deeply about a variety of social justice issues. She has a special interest in working with individuals who identify as Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) survivors, and those recovering from emotional trauma. Alexandria also has a strong commitment to antiracism work, Black liberation, climate change activism, and animal rights advocacy. Alexandria strives to make the world a more compassionate place for all.
What does being an Interpersonal Communication and Relationship Strategist entail on a day-to-day basis?
Alexandria: I am teaching highly sensitive people (HSPs) how to use their uniquely innate skills to effectively communicate and self-advocate with clarity, integrity, assurance, and consistency. I teach these skills through seminars, my signature program, speaking on stages, and my writing.
What impact do you want to make in the lives of your clients that utilize your services and resources via Boundary Badass Consulting LLC?
Alexandria: I want my clients to have nurtured and maintained self-reverence™ and now use their agency to advocate for themselves instead of dismissing their needs and avoiding confrontation. I want them to have learned and applied the effective communication skills needed to self-advocate with clarity, integrity, assurance, and consistency. I want to have nurtured untamed women who now reject humility, divorce modesty, refuse imposter syndrome, and pledge allegiance to themselves. I want them to no longer exist for the comfort and convenience of others and to claim the abundance that is their birthright by severing trauma bonds, disrupting counterproductive patterns, breaking harmful cycles, initiating & navigating hard conversations, declaring their thoughts when feeling vulnerable, asserting their needs, and making requests.
Please tell our readers about some signs to be aware of when it comes to having people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder in their lives?
Alexandria: The most easily perceived signs are an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others, an absence of empathy, a refusal to express vulnerability, and being cruel behind closed doors to those with whom they have intimate and personal relationships. Meaning they are vicious, malicious, and hostile to their victims in private (unless they’re being authoritarian). But in the presence of others, they masterfully put on successful acts of disingenuous kindness and an approachable demeanor, fooling nearly everyone they come across. Narcissists are possessive and controlling. Their interpersonal relationships are transactional and nurtured solely to provide them with personal gain. Abusing people emotionally, and sometimes also physically, is how narcissists operate. Their actions, behavior, and conduct are egregious, insidious, immoral, and wicked. They often express themselves with extreme anger and emotionally violent outbursts.
What sparked your passion for social justice issues?
Alexandria: My high sensitivity. Being a highly sensitive person or an HSP means I possess a physiological, genetic trait called sensory processing sensitivity. Sensory processing sensitivity wires the nervous system of HSPs to be more sensitive than average, so we experience deeper cognitive processing of physical, social, and emotional stimuli. Essentially, this means that emotionally and physically, we feel more, feel deeper, and feel longer than most. With that, HSPs innately possess a higher degree of empathy towards others. The part of the brain that helps us understand peoples’ intentions and how they feel (the mirror neuron area) is also more active than in the brains of non-HSPs. For this reason, I’ve got a strong bullshit meter and zero tolerance for BS.
What do you love most about the work that you do?
Alexandria: I love the freedom and autonomy that being my own boss provides me. I make my own schedule and hours; I don’t work when I don’t want to, and I work when I do. I’m not overworked in my line of work. I’m not “busy,” booked, and blessed — I’m just booked and blessed! And that’s how I prefer and need my life to be.
Furthermore, I love that I have the honor to propel others forward in their relationship with themselves and their relationships with others. I love that I can provide people transformation insight, wisdom, and teachings outside of a therapist’s office. It’s truly an honor to do this work!
What words of encouragement from your experience could you provide to anyone who is currently experiencing trauma?
Alexandria: Forgiveness is not always required for your healing — allow yourself to internalize and understand this. Heal in ways that feel authentic and aligned to you, your integrity, and your peace. Pledge allegiance to yourself — always.
Give your attention to who and what serves you, not to who and what doesn’t. The company you keep is an integral part of your healing, so be intentional, mindful, and judicious about those with whom you create and maintain community. Share your story, truth, and reality with people you feel emotionally & physically safe, who you believe have the right to hear your story, and who are willing to hold full, empathetic space for you and will respect, champion, and support you as a victor over trauma!
What do you say no to?
Alexandria: Humility, modesty, imposter syndrome, traditional work/jobs/careers, straightening my hair, transphobia, homophobia, fatphobia, the American flag, “The future is female” ideology, respectability politics, white people disrespecting me, pledging allegiance to others before myself, grind culture, being busy, niceness, family, friends, or anyone else who does not allow me to exist in my full humanity, perpetuating generational trauma, existing for the comfort & convenience of others, living in a red state, declawing my cats, allowing strangers to watch my dog & cats, zoos, woo woo/pseudoscientific/mystic stuff like tarot, crystals, psychics, chakras, astrology, manifestation, the law of attraction, energies, etc., religion, spirituality, the belief in a higher power, the GOP, allowing my trauma to negatively control my life, and excusing abusers’ behavior. Last, the ideology that forgiveness is necessary.
What do you say yes to?
Alexandria: Myself, help, support, kindness, my integrity, my intuition, my boundaries, my identity as a Black woman, trusting my aligned community of loved ones, the needs of my fur babies, triumph over trauma, the needs of the LGBTQAI+ community, believing trauma survivors, authenticity, science, staying home, rest, voting, still wearing masks, vaccines, intersectionality/”The future is intersectional” ideology, accountability/cancel culture, building generational wealth as a Black woman, charging my value, the EMDR therapy modality to heal trauma, hard conversations, confrontation, dancing every day, staying home, cannabis, I say yes to saying “no.”
What else would you like our readers to know about you and your plans for the rest of the year?
Alexandria: I am launching a series of courses available for people to enroll in which I teach them how to self-advocate with clarity, integrity, assurance, and consistency. Students will learn how to stop avoiding and take action to set & honor boundaries, initiate & navigate hard conversations, declare their thoughts when feeling vulnerable, and ask for what they want without guilt. Students can enroll in the complete course or enroll in individual classes.
How can we keep up to date with all you have going on?
Alexandria: Join my newsletter, read my blog, and follow me on Twitter & Instagram.
Subscribe to my newsletter: https://www.alexandriathibodeaux.com/subscribe/
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/alexandriathib
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theboundarybadass/
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