Top 10 Dating Advice Tips from a Matchmaker

tammi73
Oct 2
3 min read

By Tammi Pickle,

Dating can be exciting, but it also comes with its challenges. As a professional matchmaker, I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t when it comes to building healthy, lasting relationships. Here are my top 10 dating tips to help you navigate the journey with confidence and clarity.

1. Prioritize Emotional Availability

Before you start dating, check in with yourself. Are you truly ready for a relationship, or do you still have some healing and self-work to do? If you’re not emotionally available, you may attract partners who aren’t either. Make sure both you and the people you date are in the right head space to give and receive love. Look for consistency, clear communication, and honesty about intentions.

2. Look for Communication, Clarity, and Commonality—Not Just Chemistry

Chemistry is exciting, but it isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. Pay attention to whether you feel comfortable, respected, and understood. Shared values, good communication, and lifestyle compatibility matter far more in the long run. Ask early what the other person is looking for and be clear about your own intentions, so you know if you’re aligned.

3. Be Vulnerable

True connection comes from being open and real. Share your authentic self, your past, your dreams, your fears, and your values. Vulnerability creates intimacy and builds a deeper bond. The right person will appreciate and connect with the real you.

4. Be Direct

Avoid playing games. If you like someone, tell them. If you’re unsure, ask questions. Clear and honest communication prevents misunderstandings and wasted time. Being upfront about what you want helps you determine quickly if someone is the right fit.

5. Define Your Relationship

Don’t leave your relationship status up to guesswork. If you want commitment, say so. If you’re looking for something serious, have that conversation sooner rather than later. Defining the relationship protects you from drifting into a situation that doesn’t match your desires.

6. Show Who You Really Are

Authenticity is attractive. Share your passions, hobbies, quirks, and goals openly. Pretending to be someone you’re not will only lead to disappointment later. When you show your true self, you give the right partner the chance to fall for the real you.

7. Do Inner Work Before Dating

Healthy relationships begin with a healthy self. Take time to heal, grow, and learn from past mistakes. Ask yourself why you’ve repeated certain patterns and know what you truly deserve in a partner. Therapy, coaching, or self-development work can help you build the self-awareness needed to choose better relationships moving forward.

8. Be Open-Minded

It’s easy to get stuck chasing a “type,” but love often shows up in unexpected ways. Stay open to meeting people who may not fit your usual checklist—you might be surprised at who ends up being your perfect match.

9. Pace Yourself

Good relationships take time to grow. Don’t rush into intimacy or commitment too quickly. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone new. Focus on building quality connections instead of dating as many people as possible.

10. Don’t Be Desperate

Neediness and desperation can push people away. Instead, focus on building a happy, fulfilling life outside of dating. When you are content and confident in yourself, you naturally attract healthier, more compatible partners.

Dating is a journey, not a race. When you prioritize self-growth, authenticity, and clear communication, you put yourself in the best position to attract and build a relationship that truly lasts.

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