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By Katherine Zammuto

Communicating is such an important, crucial, key part of any relationship - when you’re dating someone, when you’re married, even in business or when you’re trying to meet someone new… and most of us are not good communicators… so on this past week’s episode of my podcast I talked to Joe Pardavila, who is a podcaster and author, and wrote a book about the art of communicating well called “Good Listen” - and he gave a bunch of really great ideas on how we can listen better and pay attention to what the other person is really saying to us…

I really hope you guys enjoy it , and here it is in a nutshell, what I learned about how to be a better communicator:

1. PUT THE PHONE DOWN: if someone is saying something to you, if you’re having dinner with them, having coffee even at home, put the phone away. Turn off the TV, turn off the radio, look them in the eyes and actually give them your full attention. A lot of us are guilty of spacing out, or doing a bunch of things at the same time. Like Joe explains, many times we are hearing them but not actually listening to what they are saying.

2. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS: we cannot read minds - if you think you know what the other person is thinking, you could be wrong, so ask them whatever the subject is! It is so much better to hear from them - assumptions destroy relationships.

3. SPEAK YOUR MIND: If something in a relationship is bothering you , if you don’t like something, if you have certain feelings bottled up inside, if you need space or you need more attention, more sex, whatever it is…simply tell them: this is what my needs are today. Don’t just let things stay bottled up inside until they blow up.

4. ASK: for whatever it is! Do you want to do something in bed? Ask! Do you want to spend more time with the person? Ask! Remember that “no” is zero– so if they say no, you didn’t lose anything! Asking is free, but so many people suppress what they want to ask, simply because they are afraid of rejection… but the more you open your mouth, the bigger chances are you will get what you want. Go for it, the better you express yourself and simply communicate what you want, the better your relationships will be.

So remember this basic simple hack – open your mouth and speak up!

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If you have any questions or want to share your stories, please send us an email or follow me on Instagram @katzammuto and send me a DM. I would love to hear from you!!!

Kat on the Loose – sex, dating & relationships podcast is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, I Heart Radio.

Much love always,

Kat Zammuto

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Katherine Zammuto

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