From Expert Matchmaker Tammi Pickle with Elite Connections
Not hearing from them by text or phone very often. They are either talking to other people or they are just not that into you. You should be on their mind, and they should show you they are thinking of you and want to see you by making plans and making you a priority. It’s so easy to text and make time for someone if you are interested in getting to know them better. If they are not making the effort that you deserve to be getting, either let them know what you need or move on. If they don’t try harder after letting them know you need more, don’t take offense but let them go. Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about someone that isn’t giving you enough.
Talking about their Ex all the time. Talking about the Ex in a lot of detail, in anger and bashing them probably means they have resentment. They may not be fully over them and may not be ready to move on to something new. It is sometimes hard when someone asks you about you Ex not to go into too much detail, but if you are in a good place, you should not hold negative, bad thoughts towards that person.
They are too busy and don’t make time for you. It shows that you are not important enough for them to reach out to you. You need to be with someone that gives you the attention you deserve. Sometimes it’s bad timing and people think they have the time or can make the time and they just can’t. Don’t be upset if that happens, in life it’s all about the right opportunities at the right time.
You catch them in little lies. Lying about who they are, what they do, their age, their photos and the list goes on and on. If someone is being deceitful in any way, be careful letting them get to know you better. We all want trust in our relationship, and someone that starts off lying is a huge red flag and we need to be cautious of.
They don’t make you feel special. They don’t tell you that they think you look great, are attractive and don’t give you complements. You need to feel appreciated, cared for, admired and if you don’t feel they are all about you, they might not be that into you.
Rude or disrespectful to people that come in contact with. Be careful of people that treat the wait staff and the service industry people they feel are beneath them. People that think they are better than others probably don’t deserve your time.
Wandering eyes. They may be looking for the next best thing. We all want to feel confident that the person that is with us, is all eyes on us. If you have a bad feeling about this then be careful, no one wants to date a cheater.
Don’t agree on important topics like religion, politics, dog lovers, kids and other passions of yours. You should be like minded on important subjects if they are important to you, then most likely you should both align on those things. If you have some things that you love and they are totally opposite in their likes and communities, then it’s probably not the best fit.
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Fighting out little insignificant things. If someone is picking fights with you over little silly things, be careful. The beginning of a relationship should be fairly easy, lighthearted and not full of frustration and fighting. If you’re in the beginning stages and already see it’s a rocky road, then you might not be super compatible for the long term.
Reactions in stressful situations. Are they quick to anger, do they overreact and come to a boiling point if they come across something that isn’t easy breezy? Sometimes its good to see how the other person does react in those types of situations.
Jealousy and controlling. If someone shows signs of jealousy and controlling over you, be careful. They may be controlling of who you are spending time with, getting upset when you hang out with your friends and thinking you may be doing someone behind their back. You want trust and confidence in the person you are with.
Clean/Messy- You can tell a lot about a person by seeing how they live, are they clean, messy, OCD. Usually, opposites in this area won’t be a good fit. If someone’s a clean freak they might not pair well with a messy person.
Not talking about the future or making future plans. Once you are invested in the person you are seeing you should be making plans and talking about things you want to do together. Discussing meeting friends, family and introducing children. Planning trips and talking about the future more and more.
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