By Katherine Zammuto
If you are like most single people nowadays, you have used one or two or even more dating apps in the quest to finding your right match. Problem is, with so many people available, it can become very time consuming and frustrating. After doing over 130 episodes of my podcast and interviewing dozens of experts, I have learned some simple but effective solutions on how to date smart and not waste too much time with the wrong people.
1. READ THE PROFILES CAREFULLY, DON’T JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURES: most people are attracted to the photos and ignore what the person is writing, but you can tell a lot based on what someone writes. For example, both Bumble and Tinder now allow anyone to specifically pick which category they are interested in: something casual, relationship, not sure, etc.…so if you are looking for a relationship and read someone’s profile that says “not sure”, believe them and swipe them to the left. Making sure someone is looking for the same thing as you are highly increases the chances of a good match.
2. ASK ALL THE BASIC QUESTIONS WITHOUT HESITATION: if the person you matched did not include their job, marital status, place where they live, in the profile, it is completely fine to ask. Needless to say, if they do not give you clear and direct answers, very likely they are hiding something. My friends and I go even further and ask for their full name, social media or LinkedIn pages and website. It may sound like a lot of questions, but we have the right to know up front who we are talking to! So don’t be shy and ask as many questions as you feel you need to – if they are honest and interested in meeting you, they will have no problem answering.
3. BEFORE AGREEING TO MEET IN PERSON, REQUEST A PHONE CALL OR EVEN BETTER, DO A VIDEO CHAT: I used to go on dates after seeing someone’s photos and talking to them on the phone, but many times, the way a person looks, moves, talks, can be very different from their profile. My time is precious as most of you I am sure, so nowadays, if I like someone, I ask for a video chat first. In general men think it is a great idea too, so they can also see that we look like our pictures, and if there is an initial connection that will make a first date in person worth it.
4. PLAN SHORT FIRST DATES: I used to love dinner first dates, but then I realized that if I get to the restaurant and I don’t like the person for whatever reason, I am still stuck there for at least two hours…and it happened enough times that I decided to change my strategy. I suggest a coffee date or Happy Hour, which most men love. That way we can meet the person and decide if we want to get to know them or politely leave after 15-20 minutes.
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5. DON’T LIE AT ALL ON YOUR DATING PROFILE!! I am a firm believer that anything that starts with a lie cannot go too far. The number one complaint from men is that women use too many filters on their photos or really old photos from when they were younger. The number one complaint from women about men is that they lie about their height, their financial status and true intentions. I say put your REAL self out there and tell people what you are really looking for. The right person will appreciate you and be very happy that you are honest and upfront. And no matter what, please be truthful about your age – if you are dating and looking for someone, it means you are alive and well and that is amazing enough!!
If you have any questions or want to share your stories, please send us an email or follow me on Instagram @katzammuto and send me a DM. I would love to hear from you!!!
Kat on the Loose – sex, dating & relationships podcast is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, I Heart Radio.
Much love always, Kat
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